Willful Muse
by Blind writer
Summary: Suzaku doesn't quite know what to make of the mysterious writer, Zero.  But maybe his work can help make heads or tails about his new, curious attraction to his neighbor, Lelouch - who also happens to be a writer.  Explicit, AU, Suzalulu.


_A/N: PWP, ahoy! Yes, spelling and grammatical errors in the forum are on purpose [ugh, formatting this killed me DEAD fkodgutr FFN, you format whore, stop stealing my pretties!1!eleven. Totally looked better at eljay - "greater than" symbols, I mourn thee]._

_Yes, his username is totally a shameless homage to Aki and Yina._

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><p><strong>Forum thread topic: I have a question for Zero?<strong>

skuru (newbie) posted at 5:13 PM:

Hi. Uh, I'm kinda new here, but, can I make story request? To zero I mean.  
>I've heard that sometimes Zero takes fan's ideas and writes a story here for them?<p>

.-.-.-.

Q1 (moderator) posted at 5:19 PM:

Welcome! Go ahead, shoot! We've all made them, and if they're interesting enough, sometimes Zero picks up our ideas.  
>Don't be too disappointed if Zero doesn't though.<br>Zero **is **a professional writer after all, and doesn't have much time for short stories that don't make any money.

The stories that _are_ written from prompts are great though, because Zero is so picky about ideas - both general and porn.  
>I keep hoping a sexy bunny girl will show up, one day. -laugh- That idea keeps getting shot down, though.<br>Guess I'll just have to make do with my general ideas in the universe of the Black Knights series.  
>They're like fanfics, only done by the original author! Zero is so great!<p>

The original stories that are too smutty to be published are also here, just on another thread. It's almost like a whole library!  
>I think most of us come here to read those. -laugh- Zero writes such great porn, it's a shame it can't get published.<br>I'm just glad this place is here, so fans like us can still read it, despite what the tyrannical publishers say.

.-.-.-.

Kaguya-hime (regular user) posted at 5:20 PM:

Mod is right. I've been waiting for a court harem, myself. Zero-sama seems to have such a good grasp of intrigue~ ^^  
>Even if Zero-sama doesn't pick up your idea, some of us sometimes write things in the fan thread. So don't be shy!<p>

.-.-.-.

skuru (newbie) posted at 5:23 PM:

OK, thanks.

I was kind of wondering if maybe a story about a guy with green eyes.  
>And next door, there's this other really pretty guy with purple eyes, who sometimes comes over to watch a cat.<br>Uh, and maybe the purple eye guy writes too?  
>Anyways, the green eye guy kinda touches.. himself?<br>Where he knows the purple eye guy will be sitting I mean, in secret, and maybe thinks about him at the same time.  
>It's just a reques,t but maybe the purple eye guy somehow finds out, and likes the gren eye guy back, too?<br>You totally don't have to write it, but I just thought I'd ask.

.-.-.-.

Surely (regular user) posted at 5:26 PM:

Oh, this almost sounds like something from the Lancelot series! ^-^ The eyes, anyways.  
>LL (purple eyes) is in love with his knight, Sir Lancelot (green eyes), but it's secret and one-sided, and really kind of sad.<br>Sometimes, LL um, does stuff in Lancelot's bed when he's gone on a quest somewhere. Your idea just reminded me of it.  
>It's still on-going, so Lancelot still doesn't know about his king's feelings. I wonder how it will turn out! ^-^<p>

.-.-.-.

China loliguy (casual user) posted at 5:28 PM:

Even though Zero writes a wide collection of gay stories online, Zero almost never picks up gay prompts, for some reason.  
>But I know a number of people who might pick this up in the fan thread. You might have better luck there. =)<p>

.-.-.-.

C.2 (moderator) posted at 5:34 PM:  
><em><strong><br>(comment removed by **__**Zero**__**)**_

.-.-.-.

Zero (owner) posted at 5:35 PM:

If you do that again, C.2, I will remove your mod powers. I set your comments to be screened, if you recall.  
>Stop the ridiculous antics. I know it may seem like it, but it is probably only coincidence.<p>

To skuru, I will take your suggestion. This prompt is a twist on one idea I've had for a while, and it interests me.

.-.-.-.

Madame President (regular user) posted at 5:37 PM:

oh wow, zero actually picked up a gay prompt!

.-.-.-.

C.2 (moderator) posted at 5:38 PM:

Oh, you're no fun. I was only telling the truth. And how _interesting_ it is.  
>P.S. - IP is an amazing thing.<p>

.-.-.-.

Pink Pride (casual user) posted at 5:38 PM:  
><em><strong><br>(comment removed by ****Q1****)**_

.-.-.-.

Surely (regular user) posted at 5:41 PM:

Um, that wasn't very nice what you said. Zero has nothing against lesbians, and has too written it before.  
>I think the most recent was a prompt from Madame President, actually. (I love her ideas, always so original! ^-^)<br>Zero has already stated there would be no prompts taken that are based on real people.  
>They might be really offended by it, especially the smutty prompts. That's almost creepy, actually.<br>Asking for Euphemia porn is almost like a direct insult, or a direct proposition, isn't it? I don't think she is lesbian.  
>Didn't someone say Zero knew her personally, once?<br>No one actually knows exactly who Zero is, so it just might be that Zero is Euphemia herself!  
>So please, just be more careful with what you say, okay?<p>

.-.-.-.

Sunny G (regular user) posted at 5:42 PM:

holy ****, Zero took a noob's idea.. a totally original, gay one too! I'm shocked, lololol!1

.-.-.-.

Q1 (moderator) posted at 5:42 PM:

Yes, you are right, Surely. I deleted the comment.  
>This user is a known troll, but keeps hacking back their account.<p>

.-.-.-.

(thread locked by Zero)

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><p>Suzaku sat back from his computer, mildly perplexed. He was glad his idea was taken of course, but confused anyway. He didn't just cause a lot of online scorn for himself, did he? Maybe he wouldn't be able to fit into this forum place after all. And that one comment about not taking ideas based on real people because of possibly offending them was sitting uncomfortably in his gut. He ignited enough of that in his real life by his mere presence as a minority at the strongly conservative, rightwing political campaign office. Of course, he was merely part of the security detail, but they were the current ruling party, and he always believed he would eventually have a chance to share his perspective. It might make a difference in their platform, one day.<p>

But online was a little different. Anonymous, but somehow more personal. Maybe he should cancel his request, or apologize, or… He had no idea.

It's not like he could ask Lelouch if he could have permission for someone else to write porn about him. Not only would it ruin the image Lelouch had of him, it might even ruin their friendship. Just when Suzaku had realized he just might like him a little more than he thought he did, too. He could apologize, but Lelouch would want to know what for, and he couldn't exactly _tell_ him.

"Oh hey, I asked a really famous writer - who you're a fan of, by the way - to write porn about you and me. I know you're not gay, but I asked for you to like me anyway. Forgive me?" Yea, right. As if his curious new attraction wasn't bad enough. He hadn't thought he was gay, so everything was so confusing. Suzaku just wanted to make sure, was all. He had no interest in guys before.

He let his head rest back, and stared at the ceiling. His chair creaked and whined in protest as he leaned back. He didn't give any names, but purple eyes _were_ kind of rare. Purple-eyed writers nearly non-existent. Had Lelouch been a movie star, or a famous politician, or other really public figure like the rest of his family, Suzaku knew he would have been called on it. At least Lelouch was trying to be reclusive, which was why Suzaku thought it would be alright to make such a request. He said he was a somewhat famous writer, but probably asked that no one published his picture. Or, if that wasn't possible, all the pictures were likely black and white. All the books Suzaku remembered reading had black and white photos of the authors. There was no way anyone could know it was Lelouch he was talking about.

Suzaku let out a small sigh. Okay, that wasn't so bad. Next time Lelouch came over, he'd have to ask to make sure. He'd really rather be safe than sorry.

He couldn't make another request like that, though. It was a shame, because Lelouch really did have the most amazing eyes. Suzaku wondered how he managed, considering how often he was camped in front of a computer. That explained the pale skin, but his eyes were perfect. No dark bags, no wrinkles from squinting, still as sharp and assessing as always, and such long, long lashes. Suzaku was convinced Lelouch could persuade him to do nearly _anything_ with just the right look. He wondered how they looked under hooded eyelids.

He groaned, feeling the familiar stirrings in his groin. Come to think of it, this computer chair was probably the most used piece of furniture Lelouch sat on at his place. A hand trailed up his thigh, and Suzaku let his eyes flutter shut. Always there, in the very same seat. All too clearly, he could picture Lelouch shifting to get comfortable. The way his back curved, how his toes perched on the wheels below to lift his weight, shimmying further back, up and over, only to impale himself on Suzaku's waiting cock.

Another soft groan wisped through his lips, fingers dancing over the material of his jeans. One more firm pass, and he had to wrench his hand away before he got too aroused. His eyes cracked open, and he glared at the ceiling. He couldn't believe he was reduced to fantasizing just by the simple knowledge that Lelouch's ass touched that chair more than anywhere else in his apartment. Maybe he should get another chair. Suzaku had a suspicion he wouldn't be able to use it anymore without getting a hard on at some point.

Damn it. He needed a shower.

The chair squealed again as he stood. It was noisy, but a good chair. One finger traced along the back. Yea, he'd probably keep it. Lelouch was kind of picky, after all, and even though it was his chair, he'd probably complain if Suzaku got rid of it. Perhaps he should find a way to oil it. With a nod, he turned, and stripped on his way to the bathroom.

Sometimes, cold showers could work wonders. At the very least, it was enough to make him shrivel up into himself, and get a sore jaw from chattering his teeth. He was clean, too. Deep down, he knew his thoughts were still there under the surface, but they could wait until he was asleep. So with that small bit of assurance, Suzaku wildly scrubbed at his head with a spare towel, and tried to sponge the water away before he caught cold.

When he came back to his room, he wasn't expecting an intruder. He nearly dropped the towel from his hands in surprise, because there was Lelouch, sitting at his computer, and merrily typing away at his keyboard. "L-Lelouch!" Suzaku felt his damp hair trying to return to their natural curls now that his towel attack had been foiled. He must have looked ridiculous, stray locks sticking every which way.

The chair squeaked, and - those gorgeous, amazing, incredible - purple eyes blinked at him. Arthur gave him the dirtiest look from Lelouch's lap, tail flicking in annoyance. "I knocked, but I got no answer." Suzaku was suddenly very self-conscious of his state of undress. One hand clenched the towel in his hand, and the other moved to clench the one wrapped around his waist. Lelouch turned to face the computer, giving him his back. He was a bit disappointed, but mostly relieved. "I hope you don't mind my using your computer again. Mine is still acting sketchy."

"Ah, no, that's fine -" No, totally not fine! He couldn't remember if he closed the browser window for the forum, Zero's Lounge, or not! Suzaku tentatively stepped forward. Craning his neck, he surreptitiously tried to check the taskbar. It was at that point Lelouch turned his head to look at him again. And - oh gods, way too close, when had he gotten there -? Ah, but the browser was closed. Good.

One fine eyebrow curved up into a questioning arch. "Are you sure?"

"Sure! I'm sure! Go ahead, sit there all you like, that's fine, really." Mentally groaning at himself, he turned away, looking for the nearest decent set of clothes that he had. Dropping the towel in his hand on the bed, he leaned down to snatch his dirty jeans off the floor. Now, where did he drop his shirt? Lelouch cleared his throat, dragging his attention away.

"If you were curious, you need only ask."

Suzaku looked at him, a bit lost. "Huh?"

Lelouch shifted, as if he were uncomfortable. "You wanted to read what I was writing, didn't you?" Oh. OH.

"Ah, no." Suzaku lifted his hands, then flushed brightly when he realized one was holding a pair of dirty jeans, and the other was _supposed_ to be holding onto the towel at his waist. He quickly grabbed it again to make sure it stayed put, and let his other hand drop down. "No, I know your writing is important to you, and it seems kind of rude to look before it's all published, right? So, you can go ahead. I won't peek, I promise."

"Alright, I suppose."

The way he was suspiciously staring at him reminded Suzaku _again_ just how indecent he was. Lelouch's features smoothed out, and he went to face the screen again. He nibbled at his bottom lip in thought. "Uhm, Lelouch?"

"Hmm?" The typing picked up again, setting a nice, steady kind of background noise. That was fine, because it meant Lelouch was only half paying attention, and the question wouldn't seem so odd.

"You don't publish your picture or anything, do you? In your books, I mean." His fingers paused, casting the room into a brief, uneasy silence. Slowly, it picked back up.

"No, I don't. I have other reasons to be prudent, but it's also a matter of privacy. I also use a pen name, if you were curious."

Suzaku tilted his head, curious. "Pen name? I thought you always wrote on the computer. You have a special pen brand, too?" He was blushing again, embarrassed at his own lack of knowledge. Writing was never a strong point for him. It was hard enough trying to learn how to _speak_ the language of Britannia, much less write it. He never had much use for that, anyway. Were there even different kinds of pens? There was blue, and black, and red - Well, Lelouch _was_ picky.

Lelouch stopped typing again, and looked at him, both eyebrows raised this time. "You don't know? It's a fake name. Many writers use one. Either it's for privacy, their real name is incredibly dull, they want to associate one name with a particular genre - such as romance - and one with another - such as horror, or their real name carries too much weight and drowns out the writing."

"Too much weight?" His brow furrowed, trying to understand. He understood the other reasons, but wasn't it the point to have your name become famous? The more famous you became, the more books you sold, right?

The corner of Lelouch's mouth twitched. "For example, let's say a man named Elvis decides to write a story. Only, his story is not about rock n' roll, it's about the study of botany in Pendragon. You see the problem with having a name such as that? People will expect certain things, and either be disappointed or outraged, and dismiss the writing altogether."

"Ah." That made sense. "So aside from privacy, which one do you - oh." Lelouch was frowning now. "Sorry." Suzaku winced, and shifted his attention to the pair of jeans still hanging in his fingers. He kept forgetting. Of _course_ Lelouch had to use a pen name. He didn't want to be known as part of the Britannian family - a family full of powerhouses and political leaders rife with scandal. That was precisely the reason Suzaku suspected he never published his picture.

He heard a soft sigh, which meant he hadn't soured Lelouch's mood too badly. "Well, there is also one other reason. Sometimes a unique name is chosen on purpose because it grabs attention. This is usually used in the music industry, as opposed to writing, but it _has_ happened. For example, there is the writer known only as Zero." Suzaku was immensely grateful he wasn't facing Lelouch at that point, because he had a feeling his cheeks were trying to catch fire. "Zero as a pen name is simple, mysterious, and speaks for itself. There is nothing to Zero except for the words. I am familiar with the writing, and there is quite a wide variety. Most of it contains radical ideas about politics, but that is read just as ravenously as the fantasies, because Zero never focuses on any one genre. No one knows what the topic of a book will be until it's already been published. But based on the political stance alone, anyone using their real name might have been lynched by now."

Licking his lips, he stared resolutely at the wall. "Oh." Oh great, how verbose. "Yea, that would probably be… bad."

A pause. "Suzaku."

"What?"

"You've been holding onto those jeans for the past several minutes."

"Oh! Right." Yep. Trying to catch fire. Typing picked up again, and when Suzaku dared a glance, Lelouch was intently watching the screen. Taking that moment, he quickly shoved his legs into the jeans, and dragged them on. He grimaced at the zipper, wondering if he should chance closing it without anything underneath, or if he should chance leaving it open with Lelouch _right there_. Ultimately, he decided to leave it open, and set the towel on his lap as he sat on the bed. It felt weird, having nothing on underneath. It felt daring, and risky, and… kind of good, actually.

Damn it, that's what the whole shower was for!

"Are you a fan of Zero's?" Lelouch was giving him all kinds of odd looks that evening, but he persisted. It was an obvious question to Suzaku, but felt like a good jibe for information. He really, _really_ hoped Lelouch wouldn't find the request he made. Thousands were made every day, so his should be lost into Internet oblivion by now. Oh, but wait - Suzaku's eyes widened. His request was _accepted_. Oh shit! He honestly wasn't expecting that! He had to try and tell Zero not to write it, somehow.

"If you are asking if I like the writing, I do," he said neutrally. Making the chair squeak, Lelouch leaned forward, and shooed Arthur off his lap. The cat gave an indignant flip of his tail, before sauntering out of the room, leaving the two of them alone. Lelouch's weight shifted to the balls of his feet - propped on the wheels, as usual - and he scooted back. Another noisy squeal of protest, and he pressed his weight against the backrest. Suzaku watched in fascination as Lelouch then crossed his legs. He never really noticed it before, but every movement Lelouch made was graceful. It was making things hard for him, now. Thank goodness for the towel on his lap.

Suzaku lowered his gaze to the obnoxiously colored, yellow scrap of fabric there and idly began to pick at one stray thread at the edge. "Oh, so I guess you have all the books."

"I do." And now he sounded amused. Suzaku wanted to crawl under his covers and hide. It was worse than he thought. A big fan like that, and of _course_ he would read anything Zero wrote, especially since it was Lelouch who accidentally and unknowingly introduced him to Zero's Lounge in the first place when he left it sitting in his browser's cache several weeks ago. Granted, he didn't seem the type to read porn, despite his very first impression of the site - it had quite a lot of political and generic writing too - but… That's it, he had to somehow convince Zero not to write his stupid request. "Would you like to see?"

"Huh?" His brain must have washed down the drain in the bathroom.

When he glanced back up, Lelouch was smirking, looking just as amused as Suzaku thought he sounded. "Zero's writing. I always have it with me."

"Oh. Uhm, sure."

But _damn_ if he wasn't charming when he smiled like that. "Alright, come here." He blinked, and nearly forgot to hold onto the towel when he stood. Suzaku had a feeling he was going to be formally introduced to Zero's Lounge. He sent five million prayers to the heavens that they wouldn't come across the stupid-stupid-_stupid_ request he had made. It was doubtful Lelouch would purposefully stray over to the porn section with someone else in the room, but that didn't seem to ease his worry. The moment Lelouch left, he was sending emails to Zero, Q1, C.2, whoever-3, and every other moderator he could find to delete the whole damned thread.

Lelouch stood when he came over, and was directed to sit in his chair. It was still warm. Very much so. His fingers curled just a bit tighter into the towel and swallowed. Oh. But Lelouch hadn't minimized the file he was working on. He was about to reach for the mouse, when an arm obscured his view, taking it before he could. Suzaku leaned as far back into the chair as he could, because Lelouch was leaning _over_ him, and gods he smelled really, really good, and he was warm, Suzaku could tell, though it could have just been his cheeks again. The poor towel was getting its money's worth, anyway. He vainly wished for a shirt of some kind.

He heard a couple of mouse clicks, then Lelouch glanced at him over his shoulder. Suzaku barely saw the flash of purple before it was gone again. Were his ears turning pink? That totally had to be his imagination. Lelouch never blushed, but he did suppose they _were_ really too close, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, and Lelouch was awfully proper considering his silver spoon upbringing. Maybe he should have waited, given Lelouch time to fix his files, or -

"Alright." Lelouch leaned back, allowing Suzaku to see the screen again. He stepped around behind him, and setting one hand on his shoulder for support, the other leaned forward to rest on the mouse. Completely tense, Suzaku felt like any more of this, and he might have a dirty towel to throw in the laundry. Attempting to school his features and ignore the warm - soft, smooth - presence at his shoulder, he focused on the words in front of him. "This one is one of the most famous. It's part of a series called 'Black Knights'."

"Oh, I've heard of that." It was the most talked about, as far as he knew. Just the other day, the news had a story about some civil unrest that the latest book had caused. Suzaku wasn't quite sure what it was all about, as he did not have a huge interest in politics - his own job notwithstanding. Apparently, the Black Knights series was heavy-handed, and according to the news anchor, 'full of anarchist drivel'. He doubted it was _that_ bad, since so many people read it, but there were those riots to consider. "But I didn't know you could download the books to your computer like this. It's kind of easier to read than a paper book, actually."

Lelouch hummed softly in response, then clicked the mouse. It scrolled down a bit, revealing the next file. "This is another well-known story, but it's fantasy genre. It is called the Lancelot series. Seems fairly popular with women."

Just as he was succeeding in his battle to force the blush down, it wanted to come right back. That "Surely" person mentioned it, and it _did_ sound kind of interesting. Suzaku had decided to check into it, once he got the chance, but wasn't expecting it to pop up in this context. He was in the middle of trying to formulate a proper response, but then Lelouch was clicking again. "This is from the series of humorous parodies called the Passion Pizza Chronicles. This is another humorous one simply titled 'The Festival'." More clicking. "And this one is still untitled, but I'm working on it." There was a bit of hesitation, and then a final click.

Something cold and hot wanted to mix in his belly, but Suzaku couldn't be sure of it, yet. So instead, he blurted out the most intelligent thing he could muster. "That's… that's a funny title." A weak chuckle was added onto the end of that. He really didn't want to look at the screen, so he stared at the keyboard like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He misheard, right?

Silence, deep and heavy, and Suzaku really wanted to swallow, but was afraid it would be too loud. "Suzaku."

"What?"

"You aren't even looking at the screen."

"Oh, sorry." No way, he wasn't going to look. The fingers on his shoulder slid over, danced over his neck, before curving under his chin, and forcing it up. Trails of sparks and fire followed in their wake, and he struggled against an insistent shiver. Suzaku closed his eyes for several moments, trying to savor the sensation, before he gathered his courage and opened them.

There on the screen was a blank file. At the top was a small, pasted bit of text that Suzaku immediately recognized. He was the one who made that request, after all. His tongue caught in his throat, and he just continued to stare at those simple, damning words. Lelouch had to be playing a trick. Some kind of cruel game. He was angry at Suzaku, showing him just how gross and insulting it was. To reiterate how it should never be requested to write about real people. That's why he came over, surely. Suzaku let out a quiet, muffled noise, and squeezed his eyes shut again. "Sorry," he repeated in a whisper, but with infinitely more meaning infused into the word.

The fingers under his chin tightened momentarily, then disappeared. He let his chin drop again, too ashamed to face Lelouch now. "I had my doubts at the beginning, but C.C. traced your IP to this address. She's a snoopy person - I did not ask her to do that, but she told me, anyway. And then I came here and found your browser open to Zero's Lounge, so I knew it had to be true. This creates a problem for me, you see. I promised to never write careless prompts made by fans made about real people. Libel is serious." His voice sounded hard. There was a personal reason hidden there, he was sure of it.

Suzaku cringed. That finalized things, then. Lelouch wasn't just pretending, he really _was_ Zero. Fabric shifted as Lelouch moved, and then suddenly the towel was yanked off his lap. It startled Suzaku enough to blink wide eyed at him, fingers half-curled as if reaching for it. Lelouch had a steely look of determination on his face, and he regretted opening his eyes, because he didn't want to actually _see_ when Lelouch told him their friendship was now over. Instead, he got another shock when Lelouch awkwardly settled in his lap. The chair screeched an angry retort as Suzaku abruptly leaned back. "Wha-"

"I haven't said I would never write non-fiction, though." He blinked blankly. "An autobiographical account of a certain purple-eyed writer finding out about the feelings of a certain green-eyed guy who lives next door with a cat. No one knows who Zero is, so no one will be any bit the wiser." His eyes slowly widened, soaking in the meaning between his words.

Suzaku raised one hand up to grasp at Lelouch's shoulder, trying to keep him at a distance. "But - your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Lelouch looked positively confused.

He allowed himself to swallow this time, and jerkily nodded. "The girl with green hair. She's - I'm sure she'll be upset. I can't, you can't do this just for the story. You, you don't have to write it. I was going to ask you not to after you left, but…" He trailed off, when Lelouch continued staring at him like he was out of his mind.

"C.C. My girlfriend?" His face scrunched up, clearly disgusted. "Gods no, she is my _editor_, and a royal pain in the ass. As well as a moderator at Zero's Lounge, as you have seen. A complete mooch."

"Editor." Suzaku felt lightheaded. C.C.? That girl?

"Yes."

"Mooch."

"She uses my credit card to buy pizza, though I have no idea where she managed to get it."

"Oh. I thought…"

"Clearly, you thought wrong." Suzaku had some semblance of self to at least look a bit apologetic. As for Lelouch, he looked rather pleased with himself. "So I'm going to ask this once. Do you want your story?"

His cheeks were burning again, because he wasn't asking for a story, he was asking about events to put _into_ a story. "You don't have to…"

Lelouch made some small noise of exasperation. "Oh, for crying out - Look, I've masturbated on your bed countless times while you were gone on vacation. Last time you made me cat sit, I had to tolerate Arthur watching me the whole damn time, because he would not get off the bed no matter what I did. I even washed your sheets afterward! Don't tell me you didn't notice?"

Okay, he did think that was kind of bizarre when he got back, but he didn't think anything weird had happened. Wait. Suzaku sent him a stern look. "Hey. LL and Sir Lancelot. I thought you said -"

"Autobiographical," came the curt reply.

He was looking at Lelouch suspiciously, now. "Are there any other -"

"_Autobiographical_. Now are you going to kiss me, or not? I'm not blind, and I can _see_ down your pants, moron." Flushing deeply at the reminder, Suzaku ducked his head a bit. His nose bumped Lelouch's, and he froze.

"Can I - Can I really…?" He spoke quietly, almost at a whisper.

Instead of responding, Lelouch shifted forward, sending a sharp, pleasant jolt through him. It was completely unexpected, and he gasped in a breath. Lelouch's lips were already there, and then they were kissing. Two seconds later, and the chair creaked when Suzaku pressed back with all he was worth. It was too much, because teeth clacked, and then Lelouch was shooting an arm out to compensate for balance, one elbow landing neatly on the keyboard. The chair screeched again, and Suzaku reached his arms behind Lelouch to keep him from ramming his back into the edge of the desk. "Sorry," he mumbled, trying to pull back to survey the damage.

Lelouch merely made a dismissive noise, and wrapped a hand over his shoulder, cutting off his escape. "I don't care, just - kiss me." His voice was a low, husky thing that vibrated right through his lips. It was intoxicating, and when given a command like that, there was really no way Suzaku could say no. The kiss that time was deeper, and somehow even better than the first. His mind was melting. He'd had many kisses, with many girls, but none quite like that.

Someone grunted, he wasn't quite sure who, but nails were scraping at his shoulders, and it was divine. He dug his fingers around the curve of Lelouch's ass, and yanked him closer. That time, he was pretty sure it was him who appreciatively groaned, because Lelouch was squirming, rocking right over his - Suzaku never knew blood could flow that quickly to a growing erection.

He grew cold when Lelouch pulled away, but his lips were red, and that elusive blush he thought he would never see was plain as day now. The same eyes he wondered about earlier were looking at him through hooded eyelids, and he felt his heart quicken. No more doubt about it, he wanted him. Fuck, he really, really wanted -

Lelouch practically purred when he spoke. "Do you really touch yourself when you know I'm coming over? Here, in this very chair?"

"Yes," he breathed, watching with interest as Lelouch's lips curved and quirked into a sexy little smirk. "Sometimes even when I don't, like today."

An eyebrow twitched at that in interest. "Let me guess, cold shower?" Fingers trailed up to toy purposefully at the dampened strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

"Not cold enough." He tightened his fingers, kneading the flesh there, and wondering irrationally if he did that enough, the fabric would just disappear. His lips were still tingling, so he licked at them nervously, speaking his next words slowly. "I want inside you. Can you write like that? While riding me."

The blush that blossomed over his cheeks was interesting to watch vanish under the collar of his shirt. "You are amazingly blunt, do you realize that?" And as if in afterthought, he added, "Moron."

Suzaku stared at him as he fidgeted, still a bit disbelieving that _Lelouch_ was here, a warm weight on his lap, _squirming_. Had he fallen asleep without realizing it, and was having an incredible dream? He hoped not. "Can you?" He was insistent.

Lelouch looked down on him, a shadow of his usual haughtiness there. "You should know better than to doubt Zero's abilities." But he was hesitating again, looking a bit lost. Suzaku felt his eyebrows raising slowly. Someone like him, an amazing writer, with an amazing imagination, and who could conjure the most amazing porn scenes Suzaku recalled ever reading, was _nervous_? He thought that Lelouch, for all his knowledge, drew on tons of experience, but seeing him now made him a bit doubtful about that. Could he possibly be - ?

"Okay. Let me, uhm." He allowed one of his hands to slide around to loosely curve over the bulge in Lelouch's pants in an attempt to calm both their nerves. "I know how to - But first I need -" His eyes roamed around his room, searching for the lubricant he sometimes used.

A deep flush was spreading down Lelouch's neck again. "I know where you keep the lube." Suzaku looked back at him, surprised once again. Lelouch coughed to the side, and with a smooth twist, he reached into one of the desk drawers. Thin fingers pulled out the small bottle, and he set it on the desk, sending Suzaku a sideways glance. "I came across it in the past. For the times you think of me, I suppose?"

It was his turn to blush, and he nodded slightly. Suzaku pulled him in for another kiss, hoping to erase the awkwardness. It was doing a damned good job of it, too. When they broke apart again, both were breathing heavily. He had the most juvenile hatred right then at the barrier of clothing that was conspiring to keep him away from Lelouch's skin. Fingers tugged at it, and honestly, he wanted to just tear it off, but he imagined Lelouch would be pissed off if he did that. One hand wormed down the back of Lelouch's pants, grabbing a solid handful of skin instead.

Lelouch let out a soft sigh, arching his back and curling into the touch. His fingers had stumbled at the contact, momentarily forgetting the task of unbuttoning his shirt. He rocked again, and the burning hot reminder of his arousal was telling Suzaku how badly it wanted attention. With one more squeeze, Suzaku finally retracted his hand, and started working at the button of Lelouch's pants. Together, they made pretty short work of Lelouch's clothes at that point.

If he had any doubt about his attraction to Lelouch despite him being male, it was completely pulverized by then. Lelouch's cock stood proudly, flushed a pretty pink against a pale belly, and framed by a neatly trimmed layer of thin, black hair. Suzaku felt his groin flinch in a painful rush of desire, and his lips and fingers twitched. He recognized lust at point blank value, and it was much stronger than he was expecting. Hands roaming, he felt the smooth expanse of chest and ribs, stomach, sides, hips, and finally pinched his fingers into Lelouch's thighs, pulling them further apart. A musky scent invaded his nose, and it made him lightheaded.

Glancing up, he found Lelouch watching him with dark eyes and wet, parted lips, and Suzaku had to revise his mental list of sexiest things ever, because Lelouch was constantly giving him new and different things that knocked him completely off-center. Fingers blindly traced up, knuckles nudging at the curve of his balls, and finally pressed lightly behind them, edging further up and back. Lelouch's eyelashes fluttered as he groaned, and the nails on his shoulders tightened. Another hot jolt passed through him, and Suzaku absently licked his lips. The anticipation was going to kill him.

He quickly fumbled with the bottle, once nearly spewing its contents on the floor, and slathered his fingers. Reaching back up, he pressed one finger in without warning. Lelouch grunted in surprise and his hips thrust forward, unconsciously clenching around him, but made no verbal complaint. It really was almost too much. Suzaku leaned forward to press his lips against Lelouch's chest, and found his way over to a nipple. His breath was hot through his nose, and he pressed another finger inside. The fingers on his shoulders tensed again, and the noise this time was more of a low moan.

Suzaku had to close his eyes as he worked inside, curling and moving, stretching as carefully as he could. Slowly, slowly, he felt Lelouch become more pliant and relaxed, and when he first found _that spot_, Lelouch's hips had bucked, drawing out a sound Suzaku had never heard from him before. When he thought Lelouch was ready, he pulled back, and looked up, though he wasn't sure if he should have or not. Lelouch looked brilliant. The crystal clear of his eyes were hazed over, and the most foreign - beautiful - expression was on his face. Suzaku almost hated having to turn Lelouch around, but his cock was weeping, and ached for that glorious heat his fingers had already explored.

Another clumsy episode with the bottle, but with his cock now ready, he pinched Lelouch's hip in one hand, and guided his tip with the other. His breath stuttered at the contact, and completely stopped when Lelouch pressed his weight down before he was expecting it. Seemed like Lelouch was just as impatient as he was. With a hiss and a creak of the chair, Lelouch sheathed himself in one smooth motion. Suzaku sucked in a breath, and let his head fall forward to rest against one pale shoulder. He might have mumbled Lelouch's name, but he wasn't quite sure.

_Tight, tight, hot, tight_. His brain jumbled, the only thing left a glaringly vivid account of sensory input. It was a minor brain death, and it took a moment before he could even remember to breathe. Just another thing he wasn't expecting. It felt _nothing_ at all like any of the other girls he'd had sex with. This was an entirely different level of sensation, and he was close to coming - almost embarrassingly so.

Both sat there for a while, Suzaku grateful that Lelouch seemed more focused on relaxing than asking why he wasn't moving already. When he recovered enough, Lelouch had begun to squirm and make noises, sending tiny sparks racing in his blood. This was so much like his daydreams. He wondered how far he could push it.

Suzaku puffed a hot breath over Lelouch's neck, rocking slowly - far too slowly, but he had to keep control - and managed a grin. "I'm not going to let you come until you write our story." This got an undignified little whimper, and he was satisfied to see Lelouch hang his head. His arms raised up to prop his weight against the desk, elbows clearly shaking. He did try and move on his own, but Suzaku tightened his arms around his waist to keep him still. It was hard, because it was tight, hot, amazing, but he had _dreams_ about this moment, and he would not let it pass him by. "Write for me, Lelouch," he whispered.

His head lifted, and Suzaku got another jolt of satisfaction when trembling fingers moved over the keyboard. Compared to the even white noise from before, when he had first walked in on Lelouch, this was jerky, too quick at times, and punctuated by long pauses. A sly grin carved over his face and he slowly tilted his hips, pulling partially out, then back forward again. It was slow sex, tormenting, and incredible. "Write," he urged impatiently. More, faster, he was losing his resolve.

Lelouch's breathing was hitched, but he put all his effort into pressing the keys. He was breathless when he cursed. "The spelling is -"

"I don't care." He didn't, either. "Do that later. Keep," he punctuated with another agonizingly slow thrust, "_writing_." The chair creaked again. Lelouch groaned long and low, and one hand mashed on the keyboard, probably spewing out a long, unintelligible list of letters.

Another hot breath over Lelouch's neck, and he peered over his shoulder at the screen. He was right - it really was mostly unintelligible. "Tell me what you want, how you want it, what you're thinking there. The words of Zero."

White knuckled fingers gripped at the edge of the desk, and that seemed to spark something, because Lelouch let out another undignified whine. Moving his hands, Lelouch began typing again.

_F-U-C-K-.-M-E_.

He couldn't help it. He snickered. "I know you can write better than that, _Zero_."

A muffled noise that sounded almost exasperated hissed out. The typing resumed after a pause.

_Pull your cock out and slam it back in_.

It looked like Lelouch was going to continue, but Suzaku wanted to comply right then, so he did. It startled a cry out of Lelouch's lips, and another series of nonsensical letters spilled across the screen. Suzaku could feel his thighs trembling, but managed to keep himself still after that first vigorous thrust. "More. You'll have to give me more." A stray bead of sweat trickled its way down his back.

"Fuck, Suzaku." Lelouch panted softly, and something incredible was slithering over his cock. Uneven shudders and spasms of smooth muscle - it gripped at him, sucking, sucking at him, pulling him even deeper. Suzaku began to seriously wonder if he could finish this little waiting game. Lelouch pulled in a breath, held it, then positioned himself over the keys again.

_Lick at my neck, suck at it, bite me, mark me_.

His cock twitched at that. Such perfect, alabaster skin marred and bruised? "Why?" But he did trace his lips across the fluttering heartbeat of Lelouch's neck. Someone so pristine, it felt sacrilegious to do such a thing, regardless of how strongly he wanted to. It surprised even himself, how vehemently he wanted to ruin the pure whiteness there.

_So I'm reminded this was real after I've left_.

He didn't need much more prompting than that. Teeth sank in deeply, and Lelouch moaned, leaning back into the motion. The flat of his tongue soothed over the skin, and he pressed a gentle kiss there, as well. He trailed up to the juncture just behind his ear, before moving back down again. Lelouch tasted light, a bit salty, but nothing overpowering. It was something he definitely liked. His teeth grazed down, and he sucked at the pulse, still racing just beneath the surface. "More," he mumbled against it. "Tell me how it feels with me inside."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Lelouch's eyelashes flutter. Fingers managed to find their way back to the keyboard, and he added the next few words.

_It throbs. I can feel your pulse mixing with mine. I want you deeper, but I can't -_

Suzaku hissed when he felt Lelouch clench around him.

_- pull you in. Like an unforgiving wall. So strong, hard, I want it there, moving, telling me with that heat the things with no words_.

He let out another impatient whimper, and hung his head. "Suzaku." How that was said was permanently ingrained into Suzaku's memory. Breaking, a bit stuttered, low and nearly a whisper, conveying so much in so little - Lelouch really was a master with words, whether he was trying or not. It sounded so imploring and desperate.

_Touch me_.

"Where?" Of course he knew what Lelouch meant, but he had to be more specific than that.

_My cock_. A pause. _Moron_.

Suzaku had to bite his bottom lip to hold in the snort, because that was actually quite funny. He trailed his fingers down the plane of Lelouch's belly, fingertips brushing against the coarse hairs at the base, and finally curved his palm around the length of Lelouch's erection. It earned him a sigh, and a small jolt of the hips. Suzaku nearly bit straight through his lip at that, because he was toeing a very fine line with his self-control at that point. Lelouch was right - it throbbed, and he could feel the offbeat twitching from inside. If it was him or Lelouch, he wasn't quite sure, just that it was wholly distracting. The chair squeaked in rhythmic beats, enticing him like some hypnotic siren song to do more. He hadn't noticed when the small rocking motions had begun, but it was hardly satisfying, nor could he find the willpower to stop. He felt like a starving man, and the creaking noise was like a promise of what _could_ be.

But, he wanted Lelouch begging. More, he wanted more. So he said as such. Lelouch's groan was clearly impatient by then.

_Move. Inside and out, around my cock and inside my ass. Make me forget how to speak, much less write. Touch me, fill me, don't you dare stop. Fuck me_. Another pause. _Hard_.

Lelouch was panting heavily at that point, and his voice was raspy. "It throbs." He leaned his head back against Suzaku's shoulder. "Suzaku."

And that was as good as begging to him, because holy hell, he was clenching again, and this time Suzaku could also feel how Lelouch's cock was twitching against his fingers. He latched his teeth over his shoulder again and shifted. One moment later, and he slammed himself as deeply as he could go. Lightning sparks lit up inside, and it spread through him like wildfire. Another jolt, and another thrust, and he was trying to bury himself inside, hoping to get deeper each time. It was there, he knew it was. Some amazing, magical place only Lelouch had, that could drag him away and hold him as close to heaven as a living man could possibly get.

Both were grunting and groaning, Lelouch with nearly every single pass, and it caused Suzaku's blood to boil. The distant clacking noise of keys barely registered, and when he managed to peel his eyelids open, he saw Lelouch practically leaning on the desk and keyboard. The slender line of his back and the way his head was tossed back - it was like something out of a movie. Too perfect, for someone like him, it was just mind blowing, and - A violent shudder around his cock siphoned out a guttural growl. Lelouch was going to drain everything out of him. Moreover, he wanted that. Giving everything to this person, it gave him purpose, reason, something - _someone_ - to live for. He had never felt so alive.

His pace picked up, and he pumped at Lelouch's cock with equal fervor. Speaking alone was like some kind of torment, and he didn't even realize at the time, but he had slipped back to the easy cadence and accent of his native tongue. "_L-Leluushu_ -" He was close. It shocked him. Normally he could last much longer, but he was inside Lelouch, and he was moaning out something that sounded kind of like Suzaku's name, and there was that shuddering again, and - oh gods, fucking hell - Jaw clenched, he forgot everything, then.

White. The same kind of pure white of Lelouch's skin, perfect and tantalizing, luring him in and trapping him there. It danced inside and out, and the one single thought in his head was how he wanted to share it with Lelouch. He was pulsing it out, orgasming, forcing out his seed, foisting it on him, _inside_ him, where he wanted it to stay, where Lelouch could feel it. It faded too quickly, but he was still there, tingling in the searing heat of Lelouch's body.

Chest heaving, he bowed his head, letting it rest on a pale shoulder. He figured he should apologize for biting him, later. That probably hurt. Warmth pulsed and dribbled down his fingers, and it left slimy tracks in its wake that were quick to cool. Suzaku wondered what it tasted like. Would it be like his neck? He had a sizable dose of shame for coming first, even if Lelouch hadn't lasted long after - as far as he knew, that was a first. Suzaku _never_ came first on principle.

"Fuck," he heard Lelouch mutter. He sounded even more out of breath than Suzaku did, which was interesting. He felt a little bit proud, actually.

Suzaku chuckled a bit. "So soon?"

He flinched when his arm was pinched in retaliation. "No, you moron. I got a bit on the keyboard. I think it's okay, but this is entirely your fault." Shaky arms held Lelouch's weight and he turned to glare at him. The blush was still there, and Suzaku resolved to himself at that point that, if there could be a next time, he wanted to see Lelouch's face when he came. Both grimaced when he lifted himself up, Suzaku's cock sliding out with a slick, suctioning sound and a lingering thrill that was almost painful. Lelouch paused on weak knees, and Suzaku stared wide-eyed at the dripping ass on display in front of him. He knew it wasn't on purpose - he was just trying to adjust from the discomfort, but Lelouch was making his spent cock whimper anyway.

Before he knew what he was doing, Suzaku leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to one cheek, and caressing the other. "Are you alright?"

Lelouch sighed. "I feel like you tried to dig a hole clear to the other side of the planet through my ass."

He bit his lip, feeling a bit sheepish. Of course, Lelouch _had_ told him to do it hard, but maybe he was just caught up in things, and should have been a little more considerate. It was difficult to think when all his blood was rerouted to his groin. "Sorry."

Another sigh, and Lelouch turned around. "Don't apologize. I just wasn't expecting you to be so…" He trailed off, for once looking at a loss for words. His hand flailed out in one of those dramatic gestures Lelouch seemed fond of. "Exuberant. I was merely surprised."

From the corner of his eye, he could see the glaring red remnant of his bite on the pale column of Lelouch's neck. Suzaku had to force his eyes to stay trained on Lelouch's face instead of raking further down his body. He'd only asked for one story, after all. It was about time for the magic to end. "I hope your fans won't be too disappointed. But since you're the one writing, I'm sure people will love it, anyway."

That got Lelouch pausing, and he looked down his nose at Suzaku for a long, quiet moment. He blinked, then turned his head with a scowl, and it felt like a dismissal. Suzaku felt his chest clench, but it was only to be expected. "I have a sequel in mind," he said airily after a moment, off to the side. "Or perhaps a whole series. But my computer has been acting up, so I might need to come over more often." Suzaku's eyes widened marginally, noting the faint flush. Was he asking…?

The silence then was tense and palpable. It couldn't possibly be, could it? After what felt like a small eternity, he let out a soft chuckle, something nameless burbling in his chest. Could that be relief? "I don't mind. You can come over as many times as you want."

Lelouch turned on him with narrowed eyes, gesticulating in sharp, pointed movements toward the CPU tower and the desk. "I refuse to compromise the keyboard or computer any further, just so you're aware." His tone was imperious. He settled back, and gave Suzaku a piercing gaze, which might have been ridiculous given his absolute nudity, but since it was _Lelouch_, it somehow managed to work. "This is a long-term project. You better be prepared to be Zero's muse, Kururugi Suzaku."

And at that, Suzaku's smile was brilliant.


End file.
